Ohio, Ohio, Ohio. 

Why are you all still here? Gossip Girl here, getting caught up to date from all the drama I haven’t posted yet. Some of this is old news, some of it is new news. Thanks to my dear anons, there are also some rumors that you may want to hear…

• JR moved up from wherever she was and turned out to be SE’s old best friend. She also happened to be his first love. You know what they say about those. You never forget your first love. QF, you alright with your first love being all lovey-dovey with the bitch that came and practically stole him away?
• Of course she is. Well, she is now that the world’s biggest douche has moved into town. Gee, QF, I didn’t think you’d sink that low. Tell the class, won’t you? You’re just using DA to break KH and BA up. Closer to BA means closer to making sure the plan will work. Speaking of BA…
• Flirting, flirting, flirting. BA and SS seem to be flirting day in and day out. A secret affair, I’m assuming?
• What’s this I hear about some baby issues? Your daughter’s weak, QF. Must run in the family, am I right? I wish her the best of luck. She’ll need it.
• I sense some tension between SE and DA. Boys, didn’t your mothers ever teach you how to be a gentleman? You two are happy and so are your girlfriends. On second thought, continue fighting. It gives me more things to talk about.

I know it’s been busy in the past two days. Someone needs to fill me. I’m not spending time to look over the dash, that’d take forever.

Bullet points are what you get. 

I don’t feel like typing paragraphs and Lima was very busy today.

• SE and RB have ended things, and what happened? SE went right back to trying to get QF. I’m sensing that he’s a bit of a manwhore. Such a sad, sad life, SE.
• Nobody understands Lima’s newest female. She just doesn’t seem to fit in, does she? Or is the problem not fitting in? I heard that the problem is at home. You seem a little lonely there, CK. I’d ask if you were okay, but then that’d give off the wrong idea of me actually caring.
• DA is also a manwhore.
• QF had some mental breakdown and went all anger-crazy today.
• BP decided to show her face and SL couldn’t be happier. Hm.
• BA and KH are staying strong… even though QF wants them to break up.
• QF and DA are flirting. Nothing new. She’s a whore, he’s a manwhore. I expected it.
• RB can’t take any type of harsh phrase that comes her way. She’s even more sensitive than everyone thought. That’s news.

Did I ever mention how much I love Lima?  

Gossip Girl here with an early update for you.

I heard that SE and RB both skipped school today. I was also told that they ditched to go have sex. And, what else? They’re dating. Officially. Oh, QF. Looks like you’re going to have to find another baby daddy. Perhaps FH or NP could replace him?

I also heard something about a little planning going on. SS and QF, I won’t spoil your little plans, but you should really speak quieter when you’re in a public place. Especially the Lima Bean. You never know which one of my minions can be snooping around that place.

Ah, the SS, BA, and KH love triangle. There’s still tension and it bores me at the moment. Once they actually start the whole bitch fight, I’ll be right there watching. Now, that would be something to talk about.

Poor, little CK. Are you feeling personally victimized by me? Don’t worry. You won’t get used to it. In fact, it’ll probably get worse.

Another story for you… RB was caught sneaking off to deliver soup to a sick QF. Now, when were these two ever friends? And, why is QF being so nice all of the sudden? Hm. Seems pretty suspicious to me.

Later on today. Like, maybe after 7 pm.

EDIT: Just kidding. I’ll work on one now.

Yep, three.

Now, I know some of you have secrets that you’re just dying to tell. Am I right? Either you guys send some stuff in or I come up with it on my own. And, trust me, nobody wants to hear what I have in store just in case of emergency.

Well, well, well. 

What do we have here, Lima?

Looks like we have a new student. CK seems a little secretive, don’t you think so? She can sing, play guitar, and play piano. Talk about too perfect. I’ll be keeping an eye out for that one. Watch your back, CK, Gossip Girl’s got a hold of you now. And, is that FH I see? Is he already jumping on the new kid? Tsk, tsk. Such a typical football boy.

Little QF and her baby. Where do I begin? First off, she’s wandering around at night with SS. He’s that male version of SL and he’s in Warbler form. Seems pretty suspicious to me. SS, don’t you dare mess with QF’s mind more than anyone else has. That’s my job. SE, though…? What a man. Crying in a public place. And, that fight? I was there. I saw it. I see everything. Looks like RB has something else to worry about. Tell me, SE, how did QF’s lips taste?

The love triangle is still going on. KH, SS, and BA. SS, why must you mess with a perfect relationship? It’s like we think exactly alike. KH doesn’t seem to like all the flirting and looks exchanged between his man and his enemy. Doesn’t look like this will be settled anytime soon.

Last, but not least, SL. Where have you been? You seem to be hiding away somewhere. I know exactly where, but it’s too soon to tell. I’ll let you exchange some more sweet lady kisses with BP before I ruin a little surprise for you. If I were you, I would show my face more often. People start assuming things.

Send me some gossip? I need to make an updated post soon.

Things are heating up quickly.  

A lot has gone on since I left. Why wasn’t I informed of anything? It’s alright. I’ve got all the information I need.

BA and SS seem to be fighting constantly. One reason for this is that SS is trying to win BA over. He wants him to himself. And, he doesn’t care if KH gets hurt in the process. Just fork over Dalton’s best Warbler and he’ll be happy.

JS has come around town, hasn’t he? I hear that he’s suffered from a  few issues before, ones that I won’t press on because I’m not that bad. And, he heard about BA leaving Dalton? Tough news for the poor kid. He’ll be like a lost puppy in the big city sooner than you know it. Maybe his new best friend, QF, can start helping him out more?

SE and FH seem to have started up an… interesting conversation. One that SE started due to what? Jealousy? What’s the matter, SE? Can’t take a douche hitting on your old girlfriend? Let her go, buddy. If anything, she deserves the worst guy in the school, right? And, that person would be FH.